My Wellness "Why"

The other day, in a Facebook group full of like-minded women who are striving to live a healthier life, I shared my “why” for being committed to moving my body daily. The leader of the Facebook group was talking on the importance of knowing your “why,” and for some reason I felt compelled to share mine for the first time in a while.

If we’re friends on Facebook or on my personal Instagram, you probably know that I show up often on stories and share bits and pieces of my PowHer.fit workouts (my discount code is julia10 if you want to sign up). I do this to hold myself accountable and to hopefully inspire other women to workout! It’s easy for me to show up on my stories, but I usually shy away from sharing my why. I am a storyteller by trade, yet most days I convince myself that my story doesn’t matter. I don’t have some amazing weight loss transformation to share, and there’s a voice in my head telling me that no one cares because I’ve “always been so skinny” (the words of others, not my own).

On the other hand, I fully believe that everyone’s story matters and there’s someone out there that needs to hear exactly what you have to say. I have no problem telling my clients the importance of sharing their stories, so I’m working on practicing what I preach and sharing my story here today, and my why.

Here we go:

Every morning, I write in my Start Today Journal “I am healthy + strong” because I know exactly what it’s like to not be healthy, or strong. Three days before my 21st birthday, I thought I was in good shape. I had been a member of a yoga studio in College Station and felt I was “healthy.” So, missing yoga, I walked from Nolan’s office in town to try out a new yoga class about half a block away. I stepped in the door, hung up my winter coat, and bent over to untie my shoes. That’s when I felt a stabbing pain radiate up my spine. The intensity subsided for a minute, so I rolled out my yoga mat, and tried to stretch out my back. When I couldn’t sit up straight with my legs out in front of me and even get close to touching my toes, I knew something was terribly wrong. I pulled myself up off the floor, haphazardly rolled up my mat, and told the teacher I was experiencing some pain and didn’t think it was a good idea to stay. At that point, I couldn’t even reach my feet to put my socks back on, so I shoved them in my pockets. I’m not sure how I managed to slip my sneakers on my feet. By the time I made it back to Nolan’s office, I could barely walk up the steps to the front door.

Nolan rushed me to the emergency room. As I waited to be seen, I couldn’t sit or stand without feeling excruciating pain. They took x-rays — found nothing. They gave me a muscle relaxer and pain pills — no pain subsided. I had to pee in a cup, and I couldn’t even stabilize myself to go to the bathroom without my mom holding me up.

When it was time to send me home, they had no information on why I was experiencing such pain, and I was in worse shape than when I went in to the ER. I remember screaming with pain as I tried to lift my arms above my head so my mom could help me put my clothes back on. My dad had to lift me into the truck, and then carry me into the house when we got home. He put me on the recliner, and that’s where I stayed for three days, completely immobile. I borrowed my Gram’s walker to make it back and forth to the bathroom.

On the morning of my 21st birthday, I spent over an hour at the chiropractor to be able to walk normally again.

On the days following, I went to physical therapy to try to get an MRI. For anyone that’s never dealt with that disaster situation — in most cases, you cannot get an MRI ordered unless you do 6 weeks of PT. I didn’t have six week to waste before heading back to college.

Things eventually started going back to “normal” and I was able to head back to Texas A&M for my spring semester. I saw a chiropractor in College Station almost weekly to continue to work through the pain. I went to yoga 4-6 days a week to restrengthen my core, and regain my flexibility. At that time, I also started really taking a look at my health and nutrition because when I stepped on the scale at one of my doctors appointments post-injury, I weighed my heaviest, ever. All the college weeknight and weekend beer drinking, 2 a.m. Whataburger runs, and Chick-Fil-A on campus a few days a week resulted in a sophomore-junior 30.

This all had happened in late December 2017, so I decided that my word of the year for 2018 would be “wellness” and I that would fully recover from my back injury.

Fast forward to December 2018: I graduated from Texas A&M University and moved back home to Somerset. Nolan and I were planning our wedding for July 27, 2019. I was still doing yoga and trying to workout on my own, but I wanted to be in my best shape I could be for our wedding. I also knew that yoga just wasn’t cutting it for my back, I needed something more to really stabilize my core and continue to combat my back pain. That’s when I decided to join a new full-body strength training program created by a fellow Texas A&M grad, Randa Carrabba. After getting in the best shape of her life for her own wedding, Randa founded PowHer.fit to help women live a healthy lifestyle, build strength, and gain confidence. I completed the Strength 1.0 program before our wedding and really was in my best shape since high school — losing all of what I like to call my “beer drinking weight.”

All was well in my life. I felt confident and beautiful on my wedding day. I went on my honeymoon and felt confident in my new bikinis. I entered into my busy season for wedding photography with tons of energy. But at that same time, I settled into my happy married life and lost some of my motivation to continue with the next PowHer.fit program. I continued to workout throughout the fall, but not as consistently.

Then, on a chilly day in November, I was taking one of my friend’s family photos when I squatted down and instantly felt that familiar shooting pain. I played it off like I was fine — joking that I’d definitely have to see my chiropractor later — and made it through the rest of the session. I immediately drove to my parents’ house (because I was only 2 minutes away) and laid on the floor, and cried. The pain I was feeling was all too familiar, I could feel myself slipping back into that state of immobility.

I messaged my friend & amazing chiropractor, Hailey, and within 15 minutes was sitting in her office. Long story short: this time, I wasn’t able to move without extreme pain for about 36 hours, but was no where near as immobile as the initial injury back in 2017. I recovered much quicker, and for that I attribute the work I had done to strengthen my core and my whole body.

With the help of Hailey and my wonderful PCP at Excela Health in Ligonier, I was also able to get an MRI pushed through without any PT. The MRI found that I had a disc bulge in my low back, and that I have some arthritis as well. Not the best news to hear at 22, but I found some comfort in at least this time KNOWing what I’m up against.

To my disappointment, working out only caused flare-ups throughout November and December. So it really took being on the road for the month of January and resting my back for 30 days for it to fully heal. In February, I finished the PowHer.fit Bikini Body program (that I had started in the fall) and then started the PowHer program. And I haven’t missed a single day of PowHer.fit since.

I cried, big fat tears today, as I wrote about my initial back injury and remembered the pain I felt during those days. It scares the crap out of me that I am only 23 and dealing with these serious back issues at this point in my life, but I refuse to play the victim in this story and simply accept my fate — not when I can get up every day and do something about it! There are a lot of days that I do not want to workout. But I write in my journal “I am healthy and strong” and I know that in order to be both healthy and strong, that means working at it every single day. Sure, I want to look good in a bikini, but that isn’t enough to keep me going — it’s certainly not my why.

It’s painful to revisit those memories, and maybe that’s also part of why I refrain from sharing my story. But I am proud of myself and how much strength I’ve gained so far, and I’m excited for where I’m going! When I picture my future self, I see a strong and healthy woman who doesn’t let arthritis or pain stop her. I see myself with enough energy and stamina to run a business and raise a family. I see someone who is healthy and happy. That future life is my why.

If you made it this far, thank you so much for reading! It wasn’t easy for me to share all of this, but maybe you will be able to relate and that’s why I’m sharing. I’d love to hear about your healthy living journey and help you in any way I can. Please let me know and reach out if you have any questions! Below are more photos from my journey + information about PowHer.fit!

XO,

julia

In March 2020, I became an affiliate for PowHer.fit and received a discount code for my friends to use when signing up. It’s a very sustainable program, offering home and gym versions of programs ranging from Bikini Body Conditioning to Pregnancy and Postpartum Recovery. It’s like having a virtual personal trainer coaching me each day! My code is “julia10” and if you have any questions about the sustainable program that has changed my life, please ask away!

July 4, 2017

I shared this photo on Instagram and cropped out my fat roll because I was embarrassed. My first disc bulge happened 5 months later.

December 28, 2017

My mode of transportation from the recliner to the bathroom.

December 15, 2018

Graduation from Texas A&M University — WHOOP!

August 1, 2019

Honeymoon in St. John USVI. Down 14 lbs. and feeling so happy and healthy!

May 1, 2020

Finished PowHer.Fit PowHer program, feeling stronger than ever!